going through it
I'm experiencing this feeling where I cycle through periods of high work activity, where I'm the most productive person on earth, and then several weeks of almost complete apathy and inactivity. There was a point where it got so bad I didn't work at all for most days, because I felt there were no consequences. My job is very demanding and not very rewarding: it wears me out.
I've been trying to find new ways to stay focused but I feel like sometimes the problem is not me or my attention, but the job itself. There are no incentives. I don't get a raise for doing a good job, I just get penalized with more work (and less hours to work on my personal development goals). Then I get managers saying we need to cut non-billable spending because we're wasting money. That means no parties, no extras during the holiday season, no nothing. There's barely anything in this job that I like.
I've talked about this before, and it feels like a reoccurring theme in my life right now. I want to stay here for a little while longer because I feel like the job offers a lot of great stuff, yet I feel my creative side is suffering. I am a much more sensitive and intuitive person than analytical, I am hot-headed and I get angry, and I don't like it when people do not respect my limits. And in this virtual environment colleagues tend to forget of boundaries (e.g., sending an email and immediately following up via IM), which makes this all even worse. I don't know what to say to my boss. They tend to dismiss the feelings because I'm sure they feel it themselves and do not want to take ownership on that.
It's a never ending quest to get through the frustration and the workload, but I have nothing else to do but push through, honestly. It's what my mom taught me to do from an early age. To get through it you just need to move forward, even if you don't want to.