first job, old job, new job
I'm debating whether or not I want to go back to my previous job. I used to teach in high school, I started when I was 18 and quit when I was 24. it was something I never felt like I would do for that long, and to be honest, it didn't feel like six years. I look back and it all combined felt like maybe just two.
three and a half years ago I got a job here, where I work now. a corporate job, full time, remote. I work a lot, because I work in logistics. I've started to romanticize the idea of going back to school, regardless of the pay cut or the job conditions. there's a feeling somewhere in me though, saying it would be a really bad decision.
I don't know how to get the romantic idea out of my head. I keep pushing it back saying I'd regret it, and I probably would. maybe school was a safe space, a place for instant gratification and recognition, whilst corporate jobs delay that gratification a lot more, almost forever. change and impact is a lot easier to measure in a classroom with 32 kids than in a company with thousands of employees. I feel a bit invisible here.
I also always feel like in this job nothing finishes. school years have beginnings and ends, and it's always a plan for the year. here it's just... trying to do your best, constantly, without stopping.
maybe I should just explore new frontiers altogether. possibly the answer is not in my first job, or in this job. hell, maybe not even in my new job, if I get one.