27 came and went
If home is where the heart is, then we're all just fucked
So yeah, 27 came and went. I woke up late and found out the dumb president of my country did some dumb stuff during midnight on national television. He never fails to make my blood boil, especially because he seems to have no empathy or remorse for what he's doing. And he seems to be doing especially dumb stuff, strategically to piss people off? As if being the president of a country was a comedy bit? I don't know.
Anyway, I got up. I had a few meetings. My boss said happy birthday via teams chat before anyone else. Then some of my coworkers, but the main group I work with, my department, none of them remembered. Nobody got me a gift (we get gifts for everyone for their birthday!). My friends from high school also mostly forgot. The vast majority were absent in my DMs.
My boyfriend was at work so I went downtown to have lunch with my mom. We had sushi. Then we got some ice cream and I had this dark chocolate with nuts and berries + cardamom and cinnamon that was spectacular.
I went back home, worked a little bit. Did financial recognition for the first time in my life and it went terribly (didn't know what half of the costs were). At 5 I stopped working and made about half a kilo's worth of hummus. Then I cleaned the house, took a long shower, did my make up and hair. I wore this new Zara dress I got for the occasion and a black blazer. I think I looked good: mostly, I was trying to hide the fact that I still feel very uncomfortable in my body. So dressing in black and oversized clothing makes me feel a bit more protected, though not completely.
I was celebrating at my dad's. He has a huge garden. His girlfriend and her daughters made all the food (pulled pork sandwiches and 2 different types of cake). I bought a lot of wine and gin. I was expecting way less people that what we ended up being, but it was fun.
My friends came, we were about 9 in total + my family. I drank a lot of wine and made an impromptu playlist that everybody liked (and I should make a permanent playlist!). We danced, we laughed. We caught up to speed. I kissed my cat on the head a lot (he doesn't like it, but I honestly don't care) and by the time it was time for me to blow out the candles, I was very drunk.
By the end of the night we packed everything up, set the dishwasher, and then left. When we wanted to leave my dad's house, my boyfriend accidentally placed the key in the lock upside down, so we got ourselves locked from the outside. We had to call a locksmith at 2 AM in the morning that charged us around 25 USD to unlock the door and get the key out. The funniest thing was that the guy wanted cash and we didn't have any between the six of us... we ended up wiring money to him. But seriously? 6 grown ups cannot get 25 USD between them? lol
I don't regret inviting a smaller group of people. I invited only the people I feel loved and appreciated by, and even if that's just 8 people it means the world to me. We had the most fun ever, and I think it was one of my favorite birthdays. I didn't care that most of the people I called my friends forgot to greet me. I saw everyone that I love and that loves me back (that includes my cat).
That's exactly the energy I want to bring into my new year: spending more time with those that wish to cultivate a relationship with me, not the ones I only have fun with. It's hard, but I don't feel so lonely anymore, so it might be achievable.